By All Means, Spare The Rod!: Do not love the rod more than the child
As I was writing this, our neighbor was hitting her kids senseless along with her child help. This is our daily tragic show albeit one we just listen to through the reverberating walls separating us. This particular neighbor once told me of her childhood. That her parents were so tough that they would hit them with stools or anything in sight and near range. In fact, she has a deep scar in her head, a reminder of her parents’ fury and what she thinks made her who she is today.
According to this lady, she doesn’t really know what possess her, but she just gets the urge to hit her children after they’ve erred, even if the mistake is a simple one, and she doesn’t stop until her frail husband puts himself in harm’s way in order to protect the kids. Now as neighbors, somehow we have to mind our businesses, but it bothers me, every single day, why a parent, who carried a child for nine freaking months, takes care of the child, in fact, pays their hospital bills, only to come home and hit the same child on a wall, just because they erred.is it bad to err? Are children supposed to be born with the same amount of knowledge as an adult? It gets me wondering, was all the care given to this child a way to fatten the child for slaughter?
Someone once said, “if you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.” This is true for most of our parents. And parents and other guardians always rush to quote proverbs 13:24 and recklessly allude to culture, when in reality we are trying to revenge on these poor children. I often hear parents telling other people to birth their own kids if they want someone to beat up. And always wonder whether kids are birthed so they can be human punching bags for when our emotions flare up.
As a parent, guardian or teacher, you might think that you are teaching this child how to be disciplined, however, you might also be breeding a monster. You might never be at the receiving end of this child’s wrath, but someone else will and that’s not how we make this world a better place. That child, young as they are, listens pretty well if you talk to them and they can understand what you are saying. If they are being obstinate, find other calmer ways of talking to them into doing what you want them to do, after all, isn’t that what parenting is all about? True, the child might not comprehend the sacrifices you are making for them on a daily basis, maybe the child isn’t willing to go to the help you at your work place, but is that their mountain to climb?
Please bare children only when you have fully healed from your childhood traumas. If you were beaten as a child, and you think that you are who you are because you were beaten, I implore you to try civil ways with your child or anyone under your care. Do not love the rod more than the child, because you might wake up one day with your trusty rod and no child.
Guest Written by: Abesiga Golda Desiree. Golda is passionate about women and equality, among others, and has written many articles on topics around women, parenting, and equality