Our Marriage Was Fine Until I Read An Article About ‘Bowing Down’ To A Woman

Of all the problems I imagined I could face in my marriage, I did not imagine this would be one of them. I married a very calm and peaceful woman. I am also the quiet type so it was the perfect arrangement for us. Honestly, it still is. We don’t fight unnecessarily. When we do, it’s not loud or dramatic. We just settle whatever misunderstandings we face amicably and move on. Sometimes we even have mind-blowing make-up sex and the bond grows stronger.

Sex. That’s one thing that we always bond over. Well, there are many other things we bond over. However, when it comes to the bedroom, the intimacy we share is on another level. I know how she likes it and I make sure I meet her needs. It is when she is sated that I get my turn at satisfaction. It’s always been like that and I have never complained.

When we were dating, one thing that came up when we talked about shuperu was cunnilingus. “I like it very much,” she declared, “without it, I am not interested in the main act.” I took note of it. So when we started having shuperu, I would always go down on her until she finishes. After that, she didn’t mind whether I lasted for three seconds or two minutes. She was satisfied with whatever stamina I brought to the main act.

I remember she would even get upset if I lasted for too long. The maximum she could accommodate was ten minutes. Anything longer than that would put her off. That was how we did it until we got married. Even after marriage, the flow continued that way. Whenever I was in the mood to have her, I would have to go down on her first. Even if it’s just a quickie, she would say, “You know what to give to get what you want. So get to work.” I don’t have a problem going down there so I always pleasured her.

Recently, I was surfing the internet when I came across an article about cunnilingus. The article said that it causes throat cancer. It was new information to me. All those times I was going down on her, I didn’t know I was risking my health. I read more articles on the subject, even medical blogs. They all said it increases the chances of getting throat cancer.

I sat my wife down and shared this information with her. “I didn’t know I was risking my life at first but now that I do, I don’t want to do it again.” That was the beginning of our problems. She tried to talk me out of my decision but hey, I don’t want to die because of sex.

READ ALSO: Should I Marry Her Today And Love Her Later In Life?

Ever since we had that conversation, our sex life has never been the same. Whenever I am in the mood, she refuses me access to her body because I wouldn’t give her head. When I manage to persuade her too, she would just lie down without getting involved. You would think someone took my wife away and put a log in my bed in her place. Our once exciting and spicy bedroom affairs have now become dry and boring.

This has killed my desire for her. I still love her. We don’t argue about it. Our home still has the semblance of peace even though there are troubled waters underneath the calm. Before all this started, I was always turned on by her. Unless I am not near her, my thing would rise in salute. However, her behaviour has killed everything. Even when I am horny, the thought of doing it with her quenches my desire.

How To Marry A Woman From The Frafra Culture Of Ghana

I am concerned that this seemingly minute problem would affect other aspects of our marriage. I don’t want to be one of those couples who become like siblings and have no passion for each other. However, I also don’t want to compromise my health in an attempt to pleasure her. What do I do? How do I resolve this without destroying the peace in my home?

We are perfectly fine in other aspects of our marriage. When it comes to money, we don’t struggle. We are not wealthy but we both earn income so we are comfortable. I provide, and she supports. It is only when it comes to this issue about giving her head, that we seem to have reached an impasse. I just need a way to make all of us happy without anyone risking life and death. Please, help!

—Kofi

If you have a compelling story to share with us, you can email it to us at [email protected] or send us a voice note on WhatsApp number 0593290182.

#SB